Fundraising: A Play in One Act

March 19, 2014

INT - NIGHT - a fundraiser from University of Rochester calls TOM who has the phone on speaker while holding JOSIE. We join the call in progress . . .

• Caller: "Sir, no amount is too small."
• Tom: "Well, I make like ten cents a day punching out plates. How about a cent a week?"
• Caller: "One cent?"
• Tom: "Yeah."
• Caller: "Does this organization match donations?"
• Tom: "I dunno. HEY SCREW! Do you guys do matching donations? . . . Whoa. Whoa! WHOA!"
• Tom: "No, it's going to just be the one cent."
• Caller: "Is there a better number to reach you at?"
• Tom: "Well, I got a cell phone in the toilet, but I don't want to give that out."