Archive for category Food

Nothing's Coming Out!

You want to know why recycling isn't keeping pace, why the universe is going to suffer heat death and run out of energy a few billion years from now? I just opened a new container of bay leaves-- if you don't know what those are, they're pretty much what you thought they were. The salient point is their size; go ahead and look, I'll wait.

The container had a shaker top on it. You know, the kind of thing you'd expect if the contents were ground up seeds and not say, vegetation off a tree. So I have to break a goddamn thumbnail because some halfwit in Sandusky, Ohio can't figure out whether or not to slap a shaker lid (with two options, not that either one would work) on top without calling someone back at HQ. Can't you see him starting to take out that 25' yellow Stanley tape he's carried around all his life for no good reason, thinking, "This is finally it" when he realizes everyone's staring a little more than normal? Isn't there something on the shop wall next to the OSHA posters, some suggested guideline on when not to include the shaker cap? "If it's bigger than the tip of your pinkie," with a red crossout circle.

Of course not, because the job's long since been turned over to the one reliable employee, some robot who happily slaps caps all day. When Skylab comes on line and the Terminators get rid of us, it won't be because of world wars or violence or inhumanity, it'll be because some computer figured out it just spent the last 10 years making the world worse off.

Foodstuffs I Miss

Lays' (Ruffles?) Bacon and Cheddar Potato Chips, as endorsed by Mark Messier (though not in the commercial seen here):

7up Gold, for obvious reasons:

Wise Crazy Calypso Chips

Bring them back.